Friday, January 3, 2014

24 Things I've Learned in 24 Years

24 years has taken me to 2014. Here I am cliched New Year. 2013 was an interesting year. Chock full of many super duper highs and a few Whopper-sized lows. I am kicking myself for what I am about to type because it really is just the cliché...the ultimate cheese...but I feel it so supremely and genuinely (more so than I ever have in my life before). I have 1,000% had one of those epiphany, mind-altering, "I can friggin' do this" moments. I don't resolve to be a better person for the year of 2014. I resolve to be a better person starting in 2014. Starting right now and continuing every year to follow. The past couple weeks have included moments where this overwhelming feeling has gradually hit me. I've moved past the stage of "wahhhh I am stuck...I am an idiot...I am mentally exhausted and those cheesy life change notions are for cotton-headed ninny muggins...blah blee blah." Now, I am at the "Wooohooooo I can do this!" stage. It's about time I let loose the inner joy monkey inside of me and let go of my inhibitions. Let go of all of the fears and worries and silliness. It is often said that one should "live in the moment because you never know when your last may be" (yeah, another cliche), and I came to realize that while I preach this often and always believed that I was the kind of person who followed through on that sentiment as much as possible, I found myself in a place where I had pressed the pause button on my own beliefs. I took a step back and realized that potential bus that could hit me at any moment would leave me with regret. It would leave me floating away kicking myself for not saying more, not saying less (those of you who know me know I need to filter more!), not doing more, not living more...the list goes on. And yeah, no one is perfect. I never ever will be. That's completely fine. But if I am in a place where I am not striving to be better, that is a problem. I am happier when chasing the sun. Not sitting there waiting for it to come up.

I always planned to write a little "25 Things I've Learned in 25 Years" doohickey for myself in my personal journal, but I figured why wait another year...and why keep it to myself. If I am letting go of fears and inhibitions, I am going to let it out to anyone who clicks on this link and feels like reading...not with the intention of trying to prove anything, or thinking that anyone should really care all that much about anything I have to say, but I have found little nuggets of wisdom by reading other peoples blogs and figured what the hell.

1. ALWAYS resort to kindness. Maybe you're having a bad day and are feeling too exhausted or stubborn, but you have no idea what the person across from you may be dealing with. And the regret that comes with not being kind weighs much heavier than the effort involved in taking a deep breath and showing a little heart.

2. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES. Do not let a mistake become you. Own up to it, don't beat yourself up (or beat yourself up for ONE hot second, because we all need a good ass-kicking every so often), give yourself a hug, and make strides to move past it. On the flip side, try your best to do the same for others...unless the mistake is just absolutely unforgivable (like hating on ketchup or eating the last Wheat Thin)...or if it is a mistake that has been repeated so many times that it acts more like a trait than anything else.

3. Dehydration is a sly little devil that is the culprit of a lot of common problems that Google will tell you mean you are dying of a variety of rare and serious diseases. Headaches, muscle twitching, stomach issues, irritability, fatigue...drink some water and give WebMD the middle finger.

4. Perspective, actually listening rather than just hearing, the ability to let go and forgive, the grit to fight hard for something or someone when necessary, the open-mindedness to respect opinions that may compete with your own and the modesty to reconsider a mindset...are all intangible traits that take practice and commitment.

5. The most important phrases to say and to mean are "I love you," "I am sorry," and "Thank you" ... and "That's what she said."

6. Read everything you can get your hands on. An 800 page Stephen King book, the ingredients on a frozen dinner container, the Wall Street Journal, an old Captain Underpants book from a childhood box in the basement, the behind the scenes trivia on IMDB from a movie you just saw, old yearbook signatures, an editorial that completely differs from your own opinion, the backs of old VHS tapes, the 100 Greatest Movie Quotes of All Time, an old journal with embarrassing anecdotes about a "Fun Night" travesty in the middle school gym, the labels on wine and beer bottles (I particularly recommend Stone Arrogant Bastard for an enjoyable beer read)...just read...read, read, read.
 
7. Indulge in dessert. Unless you already had dessert for breakfast and lunch everyday for the past week. In that case maybe indulge in some veggies. But seriously...if you're out to a nice dinner that you just don't want to end...get that friggin' ice cream-brownie-chocolate-lava-volcano monstrosity and savor every bite.

8. Meditation and mindfulness are tough. They are worth it. I'm new to this parade, but I am trying to build my parade float and parade around, dammit! Take a moment and count your breaths...count your steps...feel the weight of your feet on the ground and appreciate that you are standing.

9. Smile. When I am completely down in the dumps I sometimes find I refuse to let myself smile. "No puppy or joke will make me smile!" I stupidly chant in my head...just smile. It will not only make you feel better, but it will probably relieve the headache that frowning is giving you. Yeah, it might not solve whatever problem you are facing, but it will give you one minute of perspective to help you tackle it. 

10. Exercise your heart. Being a workout junkie, I should appreciate more the fact that the heart really is the strongest muscle in the body. It is also the most vulnerable. Be good to it.

11. Justin Timberlake is the man. Let yourself adore him.

12. You are never too old for Mario Kart. Never.

13. Listening to this song is sometimes the only medicine necessary on a bad day...and conversely the best way to celebrate a good mood. 


 15. Corgis live up to the hype and then some.



16. Making a list of things you fear and things you appreciate will help you figure out why you have certain feelings, both good and bad, and teach you how to capitalize on both.

17. Take notes on your daily life. I'm not saying you have to write novel-esque journal entries or poetically narrate your every breath, but writing down that great moment, or noting the stupid thing you did that you resolve never to do again, can go a long way. Remember the past, live in the moment, and welcome the future.

18. Disconnect from technology often enough so that when you are without it you aren't overcome with anxiety and overdosing on FOMO. I am guilty of this one big time. But I have been practicing not taking my laptop out of my work bag on weeknights once I am home and going for long runs without a cell phone or iPod...with only my feet hitting the ground and the breeze through my ears (and my heavy breathing on the uphills)...to keep me company.

19. If you're going to believe one profound "cliché" thing, believe this one.

20. 5 Hour Energies are the devil. They will not cause you to successfully jump from a spaceship and land safely on earth. They will not give you wings. I am embarrassed to admit that I have had days that included getting up at 5am, swigging back a 5 Hour Energy, going to the gym, coming home to shower, going to the office, drinking two cups of coffee in the morning and another in the afternoon...coupled with very little water. I didn't realize what it was doing to my body and how long that crap can last in your system until I convinced myself I had Parkinson's or MS (thanks, WebMD!). I now drink one cup of coffee a day (cutting it out completely would be a mistake, in my humble opinion) and always have a water bottle with me.

21. The most important thing you can learn is how to learn. The intangible side car to this is to combine it with the urge to never stop.

22. If life hands you lemons...make lemonade...and then pour it for all of your friends and family. Share optimism. It is the only thing that is contagious and not a disease.

23. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. They just do. But everything happens for a reason, truly, regardless of how minute or profound. There is a lesson hidden in each scenario. If the former is the case, learn from it. Appreciate that the pain subsided and the sufferer (especially if it was you) survived it. If the latter is the case, do not dwell on it. Do not try to understand. Do not go all, "Woe is me, why is life so unfair?" Focus on what you can control; let go of what you cannot. Unless you are the sucky person that something good happened to. If that's the case stop being such a butthead.

24. You are not normal. The people who matter love you anyway.