THANK YOU.
Thank you for teaching me that something as random and seemingly arbitrary as perfecting the art of duck calling can be worth millions of dollars. Thank you for proving me wrong - when I first heard the name of the show, I assumed it was a cartoon. When I first saw a commercial for the show, I thought it was a joke. When I first watched the show, I smacked myself for so being so blatantly cliche and judging a book by its bearded, down-home, camouflaged, scantily-toothed, good-hearted cover. Thank you for putting pure, simple, fresh entertainment back on television without the need for a Kardashian, a celebrity judge, a rose ceremony, or a "real" housewife. Thank you for the most bizarre, yet most appropriate and clever opening scene I have ever seen on a reality TV show.
Most importantly, thank you for introducing the world to this guy.
Meet Si. The rugged brother of Gandalf the Grey in the new age. "Wake up, have a sip of tea, mow a little grass, and if you get tired, take a little nap." Please take a moment to view this MTV-worthy remix of Si's famous slogan:
Without Si, we would not have "Yo Beard" jokes. "Yo beard is so fat not even Dora could explore it." I mean, look at his face as he rattles these off, one after another, like Bubba listing off kinds of shrimp in Forrest Gump.
Without Si, we would not have learned the true language of love. And the Turkey Dance that comes along with it. Who doesn't want to see an old bearded man with fake wings attempting to entice turkeys to mate?
Without Si, these kids would not have been exposed to a potential reality of the trials and tribulations associated with being Santa Claus...or one of his minions. "My parents told me the truth, look how good I turned out." Amen, brotha!
And within all of the unique, bizarre, breath-of-fresh air episodes, thank you, Duck Dynasty for sneakily weaving the importance of family into a completely off-the-wall reality show about duck mating and hunting. Even if you perhaps toss in some scripted lines every now and then, I'll take a few "fake" sentences from a family that genuinely seems to believe what they're saying over a Botox-ridden, put-me-on the-front-page-of-TMZ-please yuppie any day.
And you know what, even if some of the "characters" practice their lines or their jokes ahead of time, and even if it isn't entirely "reality," so what? It's a show called Duck Dynasty. I didn't exactly go into watching it with a reality detector. But I most certainly come out of watching you with a smile. A goofy, what-the-heck-did-I-just-watch smile.
Those who know me know that few things make me giddier than quoting movies and TV shows, and Duck Dynasty, you possess an underrated vault chock full of keepers.
So thank you, Duck Dynasty, for seemingly mindless, yet subconsciously mindful, harmless, goofy, entertainment. Long live the beard.
Peace, love, & Cocoa Puffs,
Tara
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