Let's Get Together & Be Awkward

The tech-splosion of late is unavoidable...and naturally has many worried about increasingly impersonal relationships in the real world, and rightfully so. Now, even when we are in the presence of other people, our iPods, iPhones, iPads, etc. not only distract us, but literally prevent us from communicating. They became our iLives. I think that we can all attest to this. In addition to essentially prohibiting the development of meaningful relationships, this phenomenon has simultaneously lead to the development of uniquely odd, fleeting, "I kind of know you" relationships.

I have perfected this art with a wide array of people since moving to DC. Allow me to elaborate. The following three groups have been added to my social circle:

1.) The people who ride in the same metro car, at the same time as me, nearly every day

I like to call us the Metro-gnomes (because it's punny...deal with it). Together, we share awkward glances, silent nods, mini head shakes/laughs, and those wonderful moments when we all walk to the door while the car is still moving.

Together we sit in silence, adjusting earphones, hastily checking phones (despite a severe lack of cell service), reading Nooks, reading Kindles, reading iPads...etc, etc, etc. But I'd bet money that if we saw each other outside of the DC metro system, we would have a moment of recognition and share some sort of acknowledgement that I feel is unfortunately most akin to a "bro nod."

2.) The regulars at the tiny gym in my apartment complex

This group can be broken down into two subgroups (weekday and weekend gym-goers), but they are essentially one entity.  We all stare in disbelief at the crazy Lululemon-clad mom who brings her infant child and leaves it in the corner. We all judge in unison when "new" people entire our domain and walk slowly on the treadmill for an hour. Together, we are bound by the gym...and the independence of our iPods. We are all in the same, obnoxiously silent room (no music...just the sound of barbells and treadmills), which inevitably means that we are attached to said iPods. This has generated interesting hallway and elevator moments, awkward run-ins at the Whole Foods next door, and strange post-it notes left on doors (ok...maybe that was just me)...Story time!

Meet "Gym Guy." His name is Gym Guy because he is a guy who goes to the gym, and also because he signed the post-it note that he left on my door "Gym Guy." Let me explain. There was a period of time where I saw the same guy at the gym nearly every day for a few weeks. One day, as I was innocently opening the door of my apartment, this guy just so happened to walk by. We shared the typical and practiced, "Oh! Hello...you!" and then went on our merry way.

Fast-forward to the next day. I saw the same dude at the gym. He left before me. I finished up my workout and ventured upstairs. As I walked down the hallway, I spied an odd shadow on my door (this is even better if you have been to my apartment, as my door is at the very end of the hallway, and therefore could arguably have been directly pulled from a scene in "The Shining"). Upon arrival, I noticed a blue Post-It note that read: 

"Gym Girl-

Grab a beer tonight?

Gym Guy

###-###-####"

I know what half of you are thinking: "Awwww that is soooo cute! And the other half of you are thinking: "CREEPER ALERT!"

I was somewhere in the middle. Keep in mind that aside from one run-in in the hallway, I have never exchanged words with this guy. I pat him on the back for his his balls (get your mind out of the gutter and respect the intended expression). But I didn't call him. I have seen him at the gym since, but it's still awkward glances and headphones. Since then I have learned that Gym Guy has two children? Yeah...turns out his apartment is literally across the hall. I have run into his little ones multiple times...Sometimes I do want to knock on his door to tell him I can hear him singing along to Katy Perry though (this is 100% true). Anywho...story END.

Back on track, the gym/iPod epidemic is evidenced by the raw, sheer panic on the face of a gym-goer as they rummage through their belongings, unable to accept the reality of a forgotten iPod (never mind the fact that they live in the building and can easily retrieve said iPod...the terror remains). 

3.) The Facebook/Twitter Folk

I'm not talking about family and friends I keep in touch with on the good old FB...or Stephen Colbert and Seth MacFarlane on the Tweet-o-sphere. I'm talking about the people I correspond with solely online and never in person. The people on Facebook that maybe I kind of knew in college, but now we're FBBFFs (I just made that acronym up...as they say on Twitter #WINNING...no?) and the people on Twitter I jaunt with, but have never met. I have occasionally run into these people in person and it's not that it is a bad encounter by any stretch, it's just all...

So where does this leaves us...? I don't know, exactly. Pretty soon we will all be blind from screen glares and deaf from earphones, so maybe it doesn't matter anyway. 

Besides...Zombies are coming...

 And the world is ending in a week or so.

So make the most of everyday, folks! Keep up those crazy awk-sauce relationships, but start talking too (texting is grand and all, but that is one plague that I actually worry about. Not only should you be able to walk the walk and talk the talk...you gotta be able to text the text...AND talk). I for one have been caught in text battles where my fingers can't keep up with my thoughts and I end up more worked up than I would have otherwise been. Not to mention the general misinterpretation that often comes with texting (a period and not an exclamation point? You MUST be mad...ooh a smiley? YOU LOVE ME!) What if I had just CALLED the person? Or I don't know, talked IN PERSON?  

(I realize distance plays a factor, but stilll...)




 Moreover, "liking," "favoriting," and "retweeting" are all well and good (in fact they're great...so by all means, retweet this...), but hugging is better. Hugging is way better.

Peace, love, and Cocoa Puffs.